Jonathan Mayhew has long been one of my favourite people … and favourite writers. Last week in his blog he made this remarkable admission:
I have a piece missing from my self. I am sure a lot of people feel the same way. I know others don’t: their self is complete. They could feel happy, or unhappy, in particular situations, but their self is basically a complete entity. In the same way, I can feel happy, or have good day, but that doesn’t mean I am a complete person. …
I have no idea of why I feel this way, but I almost always have felt so. I cannot even complain about it, because I’m assuming the a certain percentage of people walking around on the street are in exactly the same position as I am. In fact, it gives me some satisfaction to let you all know that this is the way I feel. I will no longer pretend to be a complete person.
Professor Mayhew’s self-awareness and honesty have always moved me.
Apparently whatever it is that makes him incomplete is ineffable.