Filling out the customs form before crossing the border north into Canada this Sunday, I noted that I was bringing some food back. When the customs officer asked me what food I got, I explained that I had a carton of instant mashed potatoes and two boxes of Grape Nuts breakfast cereal. He said, what the heck are Grape Nuts? So I showed him the boxes. Then I added: “I am so pathetic that my girlfriend had to buy them for me!” and got a laugh. (I think I’ll quit while I am ahead – not gonna try to make a custom officer laugh again!)

A few months back it dawned on me that one could no longer purchase plain “potato flakes” in Vancouver. Each variation of instant mashed potatoes was “flavoured” and was filled with everything from soy, milk, citric acid, and wheat to pyrophosphates and silicon dioxide. I wanted hardcore *plain*. It felt ridiculous that I couldn’t find any! I found out about “Bob’s Red Mill Natural Foods” on Amazon, but it would cost an arm and a leg to ship their potato flakes to my place north of the border. That is where my partner stepped in.

During my visit she also guided me to a local Safeway so that I could stock up on Grape Nuts, that weird and crunchy cereal that was discontinued during Our Time of Covid. It has reappeared in parts of Canada – allegedly! – but certainly nowhere near me. I have long truly treasured Grape Nuts. During times of real poverty, I used to eat them with warm water instead of milk – and felt like I had just won something.

—

* The title of this post comes from Juliana Hatfield’s very fine song of the same name. Love these lyrics:

Blues soul rock country
Red green blue yellow
Morning laughing talking walking
Bread rice water fruit

It’s a simple feeling
Hold feel save me
Baby brother sister parent